Watch This Space
So many times I hit the post button for a blog and then regret it. I hate being angry but I also remember for two years I felt numb. As much as I try and tell myself being numb was better, deep down, I know it is not.
For my private emailers I give out a shout. I was blessedly reminded not to take anything I have worked for the past three years for granted. Thank you, to stupid Oprah Winfrey, for making me stay home sick three years ago and watching her show. She had Gavin de Becker on and he was talking about his book "The Gift of Fear"
All of my life I knew I have had that sixth sense. My mom shares this. She will be sober 25 years this Wednesday. She once told me she started drinking because she knew too much of what she was thinking, was real. We all numb ourselves from truth. It sucks. But I know my gut is right and more often than not I prove too late it was.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJSYzBqA9RA
I can't get it out of my head. Crap.
Take me down, 6 underground,
The ground beneath your feet,
Laid out low, nothing to go
Nowhere a way to meet
I've got a head full of drought,
Down here, so faroff losing out
Round here,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open to falling from grace
Calm me down, bring it round
Too way high off your street
I can see like nothing else
In me you're better than I wannabe
Don't think 'cos I understand,
I care, don't think 'cos I'm talking we're friends,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open to falling from grace
Talk me down, safe and sound
Too strung up to sleep
Wear me out, scream and shout
Swear my time's never cheap
I fake my life like I've lived
Too much, I take whatever you're given
Not enough,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open
I fake my life like I've lived
Too much, I take whatever you're given
Not enough,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open to falling from grace
For all of my friends and readers who have been supportive over the years, thank you. I publicly will say just remember to trust that gut before you hit post. I am grateful God sent me someone who was nice enough to remind me to not give away what I worked for. Let's see how this one goes.Hopefully I will be around a long time to let you know if I have any regrets, later.
For my private emailers I give out a shout. I was blessedly reminded not to take anything I have worked for the past three years for granted. Thank you, to stupid Oprah Winfrey, for making me stay home sick three years ago and watching her show. She had Gavin de Becker on and he was talking about his book "The Gift of Fear"
All of my life I knew I have had that sixth sense. My mom shares this. She will be sober 25 years this Wednesday. She once told me she started drinking because she knew too much of what she was thinking, was real. We all numb ourselves from truth. It sucks. But I know my gut is right and more often than not I prove too late it was.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJSYzBqA9RA
I can't get it out of my head. Crap.
Take me down, 6 underground,
The ground beneath your feet,
Laid out low, nothing to go
Nowhere a way to meet
I've got a head full of drought,
Down here, so faroff losing out
Round here,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open to falling from grace
Calm me down, bring it round
Too way high off your street
I can see like nothing else
In me you're better than I wannabe
Don't think 'cos I understand,
I care, don't think 'cos I'm talking we're friends,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open to falling from grace
Talk me down, safe and sound
Too strung up to sleep
Wear me out, scream and shout
Swear my time's never cheap
I fake my life like I've lived
Too much, I take whatever you're given
Not enough,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open
I fake my life like I've lived
Too much, I take whatever you're given
Not enough,
Overground, watch this space,
I'm open to falling from grace
For all of my friends and readers who have been supportive over the years, thank you. I publicly will say just remember to trust that gut before you hit post. I am grateful God sent me someone who was nice enough to remind me to not give away what I worked for. Let's see how this one goes.Hopefully I will be around a long time to let you know if I have any regrets, later.
Comments
About blog. Yes, i know what you mean as I occasionally do this (like when Ron Asheton died, i knew everything that happened with James returning would, despite his own close friends saying otherwise, and made overtures to do the session with him. Last night i sat in his VIP section at the Stooges documentary premiere at his invite.) BUT... in the same way a late friend of mine said she had to go do something really aggravating after blissing out in the hot tub, just to retain life balance, and I claim nice people like us should do one mean thing a day just to approach "normal," I also think it's a good idea to at least study the other side. To that end, I just read a book called "Think Twice: Harnessing the power of counter-intution." It reminds one of the foibles of trusting others' or one's own intuition too closely. He blamed the bank/market crash on over-reliance on experts' intuition, when they should have looked more closely at facts.
He advises always look at trends and the big picture, and not to discount the factor of luck or bad luck, since it's actually quantifiable; i.e, talent plus luck equals success; chess success equals skill; poker success equals skill plus luck; slot machine gambling equals no skill and all luck. So keep your head above water for observation even when the swimming's good and it seems your intuition is working.
Love the Dr. Drew story. Ummmm, is it wrong I find him kind of H*O*T? (insert jazz hands)
You, of all my blogger friends, knows first hand what hell I have been through to stay anywhere. I am still proud that we pioneered CNET from TVTome. I am also glad you helped me stand up to the online bullying by not backing down when it was directed towards you. It is friends like yourself that keep me trudging on.
I will never apologise for still wanting to see good in people. I know that my situation is partially in my own head. I feel bad that outsiders are unwittingly pawned in my crappy game. Especially sad that I brought it to someone who honestly doesn't seem to have a clue and seems genuine. I am sad and angry that I even have to question the same things over and over. Did I bring this in? Do I create the energy? Will I ever be free? And do I help or hurt in continuing to blog?
But the lyrics keep resonating: I'm open to falling from grace.
I do believe it is our right to have one bad moment a day. I just wish that one of those moments, years ago, would stop following me.
As for luck~ after watching tonight's rerun of Lost, I still argue Free Will. It is why I love Thomas Hardy so much. Don't you just want to rip through the pages and scream, "stop being an asshole and take charge of your destiny!" and then toss the book aside. Aaaah, but morbid curiousity keeps me reading on just to see how crappy Hardy will make someone seem. He really was a mean man. Fate? Bad luck? Fuck that. But, I'm silly that way. *wishes Love and Light to everyone* :)
May 21 - June 21
You could have a “eureka!” moment today, Gemini, as events from your past unexpectedly bubble to the surface of your mind and crystallize in a surprising new way. Suddenly, you have a clear understanding of how these past events affect your present behavior. You can use this new knowledge to bring about change. There is clearly a situation at work or at home that is in need of transformation.
Luck? Skill? or all in the Great Puppet Master in the Sky's hands? LMAO.
Thank you, Fast Film. I have a feeling we are both still floating along this symphony, trying to find feeling in every sound