One Word
The oh,so elusive, Sandman. Seems no matter what lingerie,fun pajamas or lack of any clothing at all,seems to make me able to entice this man to sleep with me.
Lack of sleep seems to be several factors. One of them is the fabulous weather we are having. I love spring in Pennsylvania. If it is not pouring rain then one can appreciate the change from winter's grey and brown to the colours of green grass, blossoming trees,daffodils, buttercups and violets galore. It never ceases to amaze me how each morning blooms into even more colours. I drive to the barn and down roads while fruit trees rain down pink and white flowers. It's hard not to thaw inside while the temperatures warm outside as well.
Spring in Eastern Pennsylvania also brings the beginning of an age old tradition. Steeplechase races. Every weekend there is a race held among the many rolling hills and open countryside of my state. I actually don't know too much about this sport. I work with horses in so many other disciplines but steeplechase is just something that is always there in the background of my own personal equine social events. It's the other sport of coaching that links me to the races. Like half time at football games it is traditional for carriages and horse drawn vehicles to parade through the show grounds during the half way mark of a race day. Then the vehicles line up in the center field and tailgate for the remainder of the day. For the wealthy sect that partake in this sport this means tailgating with fancy crystal and china and champagne flowing but eating very little. Each vehicle is then judged in different categories and prizes are awarded out for things like best dressed vehicle,best tailgate, best turned out horses,etc. For the next two months I can find work every Sunday with one of the many people who partake in this event. I usually work with the larger coaches in what is called four-in-hand,meaning a four horse drawn vehicle.
I had stumbled in to the sport of driving through a farrier friend who had daughters my age. I began to work as a groom and livery footman for them. It was through them I met Brit* who taught me the important basics of coaching and it's vast equipment of harness and protocol.
Over the years this sport hads taken me on many adventures,good and bad. Mostly good.It is on rare occasions that I would work for someone who was just,how should we say it? An asshole. David* was just such a person. What made working for David so unique was as much of a jerk he was,his wife Sissy*, was an absolute doll. She was warm and bubbly always saying something nice to someone. I loved talking to her. So,when I received the call on Friday night from Sissy I found it impossible to refuse her plea to groom for them that Sunday. Seems their regular groom couldn't do the event and they were stuck one man short. "I told David that I wanted you for the day because we love you so much." Ohhhh,she was good. Loved me. Harrumph. I needed the money so I conceded to meet them at the farm next to the estate where the races were being held at 5:30AM,Sunday morning.
Really,I know better. I had worked several times for them before and the one thing you could count on with David was he was a consistent drunk. Every other behavior would follow that lead.
I pulled up to the estate at 5:15 I saw there were already close to 20 vans and trailers lined up. It never fails to give me a rush to watch the morning mist burn off as the sun starts to rise over the muted bustle of a show day beginning. That smell of wet grass, leather,shavings and horses just makes me dizzy with happiness. I pulled my car up and waited. And waited. It took until 6:00 before my rush of anticipation started to wear off. Of course David would be late. What was I thinking being on time? I muttered my first expletive of the day.
At 6:30 their van came pulling in to the field. To my dismay,David picked the farthest spot away from the main barn. This means any water I would need would have to be lugged by hand in buckets from a considerable distance. I muttered my second expletive of the day.
David immediately jumped out of the van barking orders. "We are late so chop,chop Eva, we can't be late for the line up." We? Ummmm,you mean you, asshole. OK that was in my head, but I thought it pretty darned clear. Third expletive of the day.
"Where are the other grooms?" I asked. I was once again dismayed to see the answer to that question was only one Mexican groom who was introduced as Manuel* and who obviously didn't speak a word of English judging by the way David talked to him in a loud and condescending tone.
David drove a four-in-hand team which usually means four grooms. Two ride on the coach and all four prepare the horses for harness. I grabbed Sissy as she breezed by me and asked if any other grooms would be joining us? She quipped that David told her that he knew that I could handle the work of two men because, "you are such a good worker!" and she floated away to join the other wives in what would be a social day of the rich.
How many expletives am I up to,now?
I will spare the reader of the long drawn out,blow by blow narrative of a day of coaching. I'll just sum it up by saying the day only progressed in to more chaos. The horses were filthy when they got out of the van. David had obviously loaded them up with the thought that Manuel and I would clean them up before we harnessed them. On top of that fact was Manuel didn't have a clue about the harness or how the horses are put to it. I left him with what I hoped was an understanding that he was to groom the horses while I tried to get the harnesses prepared. The harness itself was tossed in to a jumble in the back of a truck. I had to spend the next hour trying to figure what piece went to what horse. Now mind you,most people have the harness set up in a way that you know what equipment goes with what horse. Each horse is a different size so every piece of equipment is supposed to be kept in an order for that particular horse. Putting a wrong head collar or bit on the wrong horse is like wearing the wrong size shoes for you and I.
The horses are then hitched to the carriage depending on the horses size. The two larger heavier horses go to the wheel and the lighter,finer horses Ar put to the lead. It is up to the driver to decide which horse is put to the near side or to the left. that comes from knowing your horses as a team and which side they are stronger on. When I asked David what order his horses would go he looked at me with outright irritation. "It doesn't matter,just get it done." He walked off in a huff and I felt my blood pressure rise to a dangerous level. Mind you,I have not worked for this man in a couple years and the last time was with my ex who knew this team better than I did. I put the emergency phone call in to my ex. He talked me through which horse to put where and ended with the phone call with the question of,"what the hell are you thinking working for that asshole? Did Brit put you up to this?" Brit was a friend of mine in coaching who often got me jobs for other people. I had to fess up I made this mistake on my own. My ex then made one last statement. "Don't get yourself killed with David. Jump if you have to,OK? Eva,promise me." I promised him I would and said a quick prayer when I hit the end button.
Somehow I got the jumbled mess of harness together and Manuel and I managed as team fairly well in spite of the language barrier. As the sun rose in the sky it turned in to a perfect,clear and sunny day. The temperature climbed in to the 70s and the horses were on their best behavior. I give this team a lot of credit. As rough as David is in his speech his hands are even worse. Yet in spite of his hard hands and outright inattentive-ness (can you say,drunk ed-ness?)these horses do their best. When we pulled up to the infield I made sure each horse had a cookie for being so good. I knew their dirty appearance and messy harness would keep them from any ribbons. What was a crummy,slobbery bit at this point? I also knew from past experience that David was not considerate of his grooms. With only two to man four horses while they were tailgating for the next several hours,it would be impossible for one of us to leave to eat let alone go to the bathroom. I had made sure my coat was crammed with cookies and a juice box for my own sake. I peeked back at Manuel who was manning the wheeler horses and tossed him a packet of cookies. I had to smile when he took two for the horses before eating the rest for himself. He knew that international language of equine love.
As I stood there keeping the horses as still as humanly possible I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Please tell me you are not working for that asshole,David." It was Brit.
"Funny, you are at least the third person today to refer him by that name," I replied.
Really. What was I thinking?
"If I know you as well as I think I do,you are busting to get to the loo. I'll man the beasts for you and get something to drink or eat as well. Besides cookies."
I had to giggle. No matter how old we get some things never change and Brit knew my love of cookies.
I rushed off and returned with an extra hamburger and bottle of water for Manuel. Brit told him in mangled Spanish to go pee while he could and he would watch the wheelers. Brit and I did a quick catch up while standing with the horses. He still hadn't found permanent work. He was wandering around from barn to barn with whatever work he could find. Not what he expected his forties to be. I knew the feeling. Somehow we both keep drifting back to the horses,knowing there is low pay and little reward other than loving the beasts.
When Manuel came back,Brit walked over and hugged me. He kept me in the embrace for a moment and whispered,"make sure he pays you for the work of two. Lord knows you do the work of four." He disappeared in to the throng of horses and vehicles.
When we got back to the estate at the end of the day,Manuel and I took turns leading the horses to the main barn to hose them down. It was a shame that they looked cleaner at the end of the day.David and Sissy disappeared in to the main house where a formal dinner was being held,leaving Manuel and I alone to finish getting everything in order for their return trip home. In silence we worked together to clean the harness and horses. He often stopped to pat or whisper to each horse. I liked working with him. His calm energy offset David's constant barrage of barking orders.
The sun was setting low in the sky and most grooms were beginning to gather in the courtyard with beers and friendly banter. I wandered up to the main house.
I was greeted at the door by a butler and what seemed to be a pack of dogs in every shape and size. Corgis,Labradors,Shelties and Shitzus barked in unison. I asked the butler if he could address Sissy for me. I sat down in a rocker surrounded by the wild pack of fat, domesticated dogs at my feet. Sissy came out and sat next to me on the porch. We made small talk about what a beautiful day it was and how well the drive went. When we fell in to a comfortable silence I knew it was my opening to leave.
"Sissy,how long have I known and worked for you and David?" I asked.
We concurred it was over 10 years. I began to calmly tell her that although I loved their team of horses and I had a great respect for the tradition and protocol of the sport I had to tell her that what they asked of Manuel and I today was not fair for the fee I had originally agreed to work for. We sat there in silence for a few moments and Sissy began to speak softly, as if someone else might over hear.
"David tries too hard to keep up with the wealthy folk. I'm the one who had the money when we married. I guess when you have always had it,you could care less what people think.You are right about David's bad behavior but he does so because he thinks it earns him respect. He is a bit of an asshole that way."
I sat there stunned. In ten years I don't think I ever heard Sissy curse,let alone use the one word that I had already heard to describe her husband by at least three people in this one day,alone.
She took out an envelope and then reached in to her purse and pulled out several more bills and placed them in with the original cash."It's our secret,OK?" she asked of me. I just nodded and as I took the envelope.She then handed me a second envelope with Manuel's name on it and asked if I would mind paying him also? She gave me a hug at the steps and promised she would look for me at the next event. "Come and have a glass of champagne with us," was her invitation. I waved goodbye knowing that it wouldn't happen.
Dusk was falling when I got back to the barn. I pulled out the two envelopes knowing mine was far more padded than Manuel's. I thought about him feeding the cookies to the horses even after he had accepted the fact that David and Sissy would not think of feeding him. I counted out the money and split the two envelopes evenly. I could hear Brit's voice hissing with disdain that I would do such a thing. I knew he wouldn't understand that my victory would of been hollow if I didn't follow through with what is right all around.
I handed the envelope to Manuel and shook his hand.
"It was great working with you today. Thanks for helping me so much."
I was stunned. He spoke perfect English! He was grinning ear to ear as he knocked back a swig of his beer. "David treats me like an idiot,so I act like one,Ci?" I had my first genuine chuckle of the day. "He is a piece of work," was my retort.
"More like,Qué tipa pendeja!" was Manuel's reply.
Well,that made a whopping five people calling this man an asshole in one day.
We both walked back to the van to check the horses and I opted to pass on any beers and head home. As I pulled away with my car window open,I breathed in the smell of dew settling on to the grass and the sweet smell of flowers,grass and horses mingling together. For the first time since dawn I had no expletives in my head. I felt good while rolling my car towards home knowing there was no pendeja waiting for me when I got there.
*Names changed to protect the innocent and assholes.
Lack of sleep seems to be several factors. One of them is the fabulous weather we are having. I love spring in Pennsylvania. If it is not pouring rain then one can appreciate the change from winter's grey and brown to the colours of green grass, blossoming trees,daffodils, buttercups and violets galore. It never ceases to amaze me how each morning blooms into even more colours. I drive to the barn and down roads while fruit trees rain down pink and white flowers. It's hard not to thaw inside while the temperatures warm outside as well.
Spring in Eastern Pennsylvania also brings the beginning of an age old tradition. Steeplechase races. Every weekend there is a race held among the many rolling hills and open countryside of my state. I actually don't know too much about this sport. I work with horses in so many other disciplines but steeplechase is just something that is always there in the background of my own personal equine social events. It's the other sport of coaching that links me to the races. Like half time at football games it is traditional for carriages and horse drawn vehicles to parade through the show grounds during the half way mark of a race day. Then the vehicles line up in the center field and tailgate for the remainder of the day. For the wealthy sect that partake in this sport this means tailgating with fancy crystal and china and champagne flowing but eating very little. Each vehicle is then judged in different categories and prizes are awarded out for things like best dressed vehicle,best tailgate, best turned out horses,etc. For the next two months I can find work every Sunday with one of the many people who partake in this event. I usually work with the larger coaches in what is called four-in-hand,meaning a four horse drawn vehicle.
I had stumbled in to the sport of driving through a farrier friend who had daughters my age. I began to work as a groom and livery footman for them. It was through them I met Brit* who taught me the important basics of coaching and it's vast equipment of harness and protocol.
Over the years this sport hads taken me on many adventures,good and bad. Mostly good.It is on rare occasions that I would work for someone who was just,how should we say it? An asshole. David* was just such a person. What made working for David so unique was as much of a jerk he was,his wife Sissy*, was an absolute doll. She was warm and bubbly always saying something nice to someone. I loved talking to her. So,when I received the call on Friday night from Sissy I found it impossible to refuse her plea to groom for them that Sunday. Seems their regular groom couldn't do the event and they were stuck one man short. "I told David that I wanted you for the day because we love you so much." Ohhhh,she was good. Loved me. Harrumph. I needed the money so I conceded to meet them at the farm next to the estate where the races were being held at 5:30AM,Sunday morning.
Really,I know better. I had worked several times for them before and the one thing you could count on with David was he was a consistent drunk. Every other behavior would follow that lead.
I pulled up to the estate at 5:15 I saw there were already close to 20 vans and trailers lined up. It never fails to give me a rush to watch the morning mist burn off as the sun starts to rise over the muted bustle of a show day beginning. That smell of wet grass, leather,shavings and horses just makes me dizzy with happiness. I pulled my car up and waited. And waited. It took until 6:00 before my rush of anticipation started to wear off. Of course David would be late. What was I thinking being on time? I muttered my first expletive of the day.
At 6:30 their van came pulling in to the field. To my dismay,David picked the farthest spot away from the main barn. This means any water I would need would have to be lugged by hand in buckets from a considerable distance. I muttered my second expletive of the day.
David immediately jumped out of the van barking orders. "We are late so chop,chop Eva, we can't be late for the line up." We? Ummmm,you mean you, asshole. OK that was in my head, but I thought it pretty darned clear. Third expletive of the day.
"Where are the other grooms?" I asked. I was once again dismayed to see the answer to that question was only one Mexican groom who was introduced as Manuel* and who obviously didn't speak a word of English judging by the way David talked to him in a loud and condescending tone.
David drove a four-in-hand team which usually means four grooms. Two ride on the coach and all four prepare the horses for harness. I grabbed Sissy as she breezed by me and asked if any other grooms would be joining us? She quipped that David told her that he knew that I could handle the work of two men because, "you are such a good worker!" and she floated away to join the other wives in what would be a social day of the rich.
How many expletives am I up to,now?
I will spare the reader of the long drawn out,blow by blow narrative of a day of coaching. I'll just sum it up by saying the day only progressed in to more chaos. The horses were filthy when they got out of the van. David had obviously loaded them up with the thought that Manuel and I would clean them up before we harnessed them. On top of that fact was Manuel didn't have a clue about the harness or how the horses are put to it. I left him with what I hoped was an understanding that he was to groom the horses while I tried to get the harnesses prepared. The harness itself was tossed in to a jumble in the back of a truck. I had to spend the next hour trying to figure what piece went to what horse. Now mind you,most people have the harness set up in a way that you know what equipment goes with what horse. Each horse is a different size so every piece of equipment is supposed to be kept in an order for that particular horse. Putting a wrong head collar or bit on the wrong horse is like wearing the wrong size shoes for you and I.
The horses are then hitched to the carriage depending on the horses size. The two larger heavier horses go to the wheel and the lighter,finer horses Ar put to the lead. It is up to the driver to decide which horse is put to the near side or to the left. that comes from knowing your horses as a team and which side they are stronger on. When I asked David what order his horses would go he looked at me with outright irritation. "It doesn't matter,just get it done." He walked off in a huff and I felt my blood pressure rise to a dangerous level. Mind you,I have not worked for this man in a couple years and the last time was with my ex who knew this team better than I did. I put the emergency phone call in to my ex. He talked me through which horse to put where and ended with the phone call with the question of,"what the hell are you thinking working for that asshole? Did Brit put you up to this?" Brit was a friend of mine in coaching who often got me jobs for other people. I had to fess up I made this mistake on my own. My ex then made one last statement. "Don't get yourself killed with David. Jump if you have to,OK? Eva,promise me." I promised him I would and said a quick prayer when I hit the end button.
Somehow I got the jumbled mess of harness together and Manuel and I managed as team fairly well in spite of the language barrier. As the sun rose in the sky it turned in to a perfect,clear and sunny day. The temperature climbed in to the 70s and the horses were on their best behavior. I give this team a lot of credit. As rough as David is in his speech his hands are even worse. Yet in spite of his hard hands and outright inattentive-ness (can you say,drunk ed-ness?)these horses do their best. When we pulled up to the infield I made sure each horse had a cookie for being so good. I knew their dirty appearance and messy harness would keep them from any ribbons. What was a crummy,slobbery bit at this point? I also knew from past experience that David was not considerate of his grooms. With only two to man four horses while they were tailgating for the next several hours,it would be impossible for one of us to leave to eat let alone go to the bathroom. I had made sure my coat was crammed with cookies and a juice box for my own sake. I peeked back at Manuel who was manning the wheeler horses and tossed him a packet of cookies. I had to smile when he took two for the horses before eating the rest for himself. He knew that international language of equine love.
As I stood there keeping the horses as still as humanly possible I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Please tell me you are not working for that asshole,David." It was Brit.
"Funny, you are at least the third person today to refer him by that name," I replied.
Really. What was I thinking?
"If I know you as well as I think I do,you are busting to get to the loo. I'll man the beasts for you and get something to drink or eat as well. Besides cookies."
I had to giggle. No matter how old we get some things never change and Brit knew my love of cookies.
I rushed off and returned with an extra hamburger and bottle of water for Manuel. Brit told him in mangled Spanish to go pee while he could and he would watch the wheelers. Brit and I did a quick catch up while standing with the horses. He still hadn't found permanent work. He was wandering around from barn to barn with whatever work he could find. Not what he expected his forties to be. I knew the feeling. Somehow we both keep drifting back to the horses,knowing there is low pay and little reward other than loving the beasts.
When Manuel came back,Brit walked over and hugged me. He kept me in the embrace for a moment and whispered,"make sure he pays you for the work of two. Lord knows you do the work of four." He disappeared in to the throng of horses and vehicles.
When we got back to the estate at the end of the day,Manuel and I took turns leading the horses to the main barn to hose them down. It was a shame that they looked cleaner at the end of the day.David and Sissy disappeared in to the main house where a formal dinner was being held,leaving Manuel and I alone to finish getting everything in order for their return trip home. In silence we worked together to clean the harness and horses. He often stopped to pat or whisper to each horse. I liked working with him. His calm energy offset David's constant barrage of barking orders.
The sun was setting low in the sky and most grooms were beginning to gather in the courtyard with beers and friendly banter. I wandered up to the main house.
I was greeted at the door by a butler and what seemed to be a pack of dogs in every shape and size. Corgis,Labradors,Shelties and Shitzus barked in unison. I asked the butler if he could address Sissy for me. I sat down in a rocker surrounded by the wild pack of fat, domesticated dogs at my feet. Sissy came out and sat next to me on the porch. We made small talk about what a beautiful day it was and how well the drive went. When we fell in to a comfortable silence I knew it was my opening to leave.
"Sissy,how long have I known and worked for you and David?" I asked.
We concurred it was over 10 years. I began to calmly tell her that although I loved their team of horses and I had a great respect for the tradition and protocol of the sport I had to tell her that what they asked of Manuel and I today was not fair for the fee I had originally agreed to work for. We sat there in silence for a few moments and Sissy began to speak softly, as if someone else might over hear.
"David tries too hard to keep up with the wealthy folk. I'm the one who had the money when we married. I guess when you have always had it,you could care less what people think.You are right about David's bad behavior but he does so because he thinks it earns him respect. He is a bit of an asshole that way."
I sat there stunned. In ten years I don't think I ever heard Sissy curse,let alone use the one word that I had already heard to describe her husband by at least three people in this one day,alone.
She took out an envelope and then reached in to her purse and pulled out several more bills and placed them in with the original cash."It's our secret,OK?" she asked of me. I just nodded and as I took the envelope.She then handed me a second envelope with Manuel's name on it and asked if I would mind paying him also? She gave me a hug at the steps and promised she would look for me at the next event. "Come and have a glass of champagne with us," was her invitation. I waved goodbye knowing that it wouldn't happen.
Dusk was falling when I got back to the barn. I pulled out the two envelopes knowing mine was far more padded than Manuel's. I thought about him feeding the cookies to the horses even after he had accepted the fact that David and Sissy would not think of feeding him. I counted out the money and split the two envelopes evenly. I could hear Brit's voice hissing with disdain that I would do such a thing. I knew he wouldn't understand that my victory would of been hollow if I didn't follow through with what is right all around.
I handed the envelope to Manuel and shook his hand.
"It was great working with you today. Thanks for helping me so much."
I was stunned. He spoke perfect English! He was grinning ear to ear as he knocked back a swig of his beer. "David treats me like an idiot,so I act like one,Ci?" I had my first genuine chuckle of the day. "He is a piece of work," was my retort.
"More like,Qué tipa pendeja!" was Manuel's reply.
Well,that made a whopping five people calling this man an asshole in one day.
We both walked back to the van to check the horses and I opted to pass on any beers and head home. As I pulled away with my car window open,I breathed in the smell of dew settling on to the grass and the sweet smell of flowers,grass and horses mingling together. For the first time since dawn I had no expletives in my head. I felt good while rolling my car towards home knowing there was no pendeja waiting for me when I got there.
*Names changed to protect the innocent and assholes.
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