Never Forgotten

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Staring At Empty Pages

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I was staring at an empty page. WTF? I text the only person I knew would understand why I was incredulous when my whole page went blank. He is the only friend who ever asked me when I was going to start writing, again? I was taken aback from this question. He was the only person to have asked since I last blogged. I blamed it was because I moved on with writing, when I moved on from where I was writing from. There's a lot of truth in that. I never got my blog groove back when I left Pennsylvania. I blamed the weird set-up we had our desktop on. My old desk was sold. We took over a huge executive style desk my mother-in-law gave us. I appreciated it's size and aesthetic. It is real wood. It has huge drawers. It has all the proper openings and pull outs for a keyboard and large screen computer. It only fits in one spot of our living arrangements. For some impossible reason, the vibe is off. We have been here over seven years. I hate sitting at that desk. I longed for my wr...
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Watch This Space

So many times I hit the post button for a blog and then regret it. I hate being angry but I also remember for two years I felt numb. As much as I try and tell myself being numb was better, deep down, I know it is not. For my private emailers I give out a shout. I was blessedly reminded not to take anything I have worked for the past three years for granted. Thank you, to stupid Oprah Winfrey, for making me stay home sick three years ago and watching her show. She had Gavin de Becker on and he was talking about his book "The Gift of Fear" All of my life I knew I have had that sixth sense. My mom shares this. She will be sober 25 years this Wednesday. She once told me she started drinking because she knew too much of what she was thinking, was real. We all numb ourselves from truth. It sucks. But I know my gut is right and more often than not I prove too late it was. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJSYzBqA9RA I can't get it out of my head. Crap. Take me down, 6 underground...
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Exhale and Inhale

It's never a good thing when the phone rings in the middle of the night. Since I receive crappy cell phone signals from inside my house, I have clung to keeping my land line. It was once used as my business line but with the recession, my equissage business has once again faded away. I have my few regulars who schedule a standing monthly appointment. Almost all of them have my cell number. The only time my land line rings anymore is if is my family. Since I am speaking to so few members of the family, it was even more of a shock when the phone rang at 3:30 am. "Can you meet me at Brandywine Hospital?" It was my uncle who was posing the question. I told him I would be right there. My aunt had been diagnosed with cancer in early July. She waited until as long as she could, to tell me. Both my aunt Jan and uncle Steve are stoic people. She told me so matter-of-fact that at first I thought I misunderstood her. When I asked her where her cancer was she finally admitted to me...
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