You´re Like a Rocket Through Me

I am finally starting to feel physically better after my bout of what felt like walking pneumonia. I have forced myself to sleep in this past couple weeks. I think my usual lack of sleep is what gets me in trouble both physically and mentally. Even though I have still been waking at my ridiculously early time, I get up and feed the cats and come back to bed to sleep another couple hours instead of racing to each barn to ride or clean stalls.

I did ride Veritas for two hours yesterday. Since I had the whole day off I had plenty of time to be relaxed about it.One hour in the ring and an hour just ambling along the fields. The weather has turned warm again. 75 degrees and not a single cloud to be found in the sky. We had a brief cold snap that turned the leaves but it was brief enough that a lot of wildflowers are still holding on.

With the help of the trainer I have been working Veritas with, we finally found a solution to my breathing (or lack of) problems while riding. It seems I don't breathe deep enough, making my upper body stiff and causing the fatigue. While I was cooling off 'Tas, Ryan went in to my car and started flipping through my tapes to see what music I listen to. Unbeknown to me he bought a tiny MP3 player (my first!) and loaded some music to help me keep focused on rhythm and momentum. 'Tas tends to be incredibly lazy, which is good for me mentally. I never worry he will run off with me but it is a lot of work to keep him moving forward. When I am thinking too much I forget to breathe so, viola`, music is the answer. Ryan pointed out that I have strange taste in music and laughed at my primitive cassette tapes and tape/Cd hookup in my car, but he found a good mix of what he feels has good rhythm for us both. It's funny because he makes me sing to keep breathing. I'll be damned, it works. No more racing heart or passing out while riding. Veritas immediately rounded out and moves forward much better.

So the song we have used to keep 'Tas moving forward is Mew's "Special".Thanks to my online friend Spyrick at CNet, it was on one of my Cd's that Ryan found in my car.

I am trying to keep as busy as possible doing fun things this week. Prick's final sentencing is this wednesday morning. I have been numb. I'm not sure what to feel at this point. I just want closure and to be able to move on. I have just started getting back out again and just pray he won't be released while I am still just starting to spread my wings again.

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