The Stranger Beside Me

I wish I could say it was my first one. I knew the moment the form came that I received a certified letter. The prison was nice enough to have called two days before to give me heads up that Prick was being released almost a month early for good behavior. Just the term "good behavior" makes the bile come to the top of my throat. I knew the certified letter would be my official Victim Notification Form.

I would love to say this whole experience is my first brush with crime. Prick is actually the third person who I receive a Victim Notification from.

The first was from an incident that happened back in 2001. My friend who ownes a horse rescue asked if I would accompany her on a rescue. I had done so many times before so never hesitated to say yes.

That incident ended up with me being held at gunpoint by a man who was snorting crystal meth right as we pulled in to his driveway. He is now serving a life sentence in a federal prison. Ironically he got the life sentence for cooking meth in his farm,not for leveling a shotgun at my face.

The other is not so dramatic. My car was one of 16 who had the odometer illegally tampered with. A man in Michigan sold the tampered cars to the dealership that I purchased my car from.He got sentenced for fraud and I got an extended warranty from the dealership. Since I was a victim in his fraud case a notification letter everytime he misbehaves in prison. Apparently he does this a lot. The funny thing is,for the two above crimes,I never had to testify. I never even met the man who tampered my odometer,making my life hell everytime I go to renew my registration.

So,why was I sitting in my car at the post office with my heart racing and trying not to pass out from terror? It was just an envelope.

Years ago I was addicted to reading Ann Rule books. For those who aren't familiar,she is a true crime author. She wrote incredibly compelling stories around true crime cases. Looking back I see most involved family murder. Husband kills wife,wife kills husband,parents kill kids,kids kill parents...well,you catch the drift. For years, Ann Rule was my beach read of choice. I can't tell you why I ever chose a book of hers in the first place, but read them I did.

So why was this victim notification letter so different?

From the moment of Prick's assault on me, that mainly took place of the stairwell of my home,I became inherently broken. When the female officer took me upstairs while the two male officers arrested Prick downstairs I felt numb. It was like being underwater as she lifted or shifted clothing around to photograph the bruises and scrapes that were already appearing. She had me lift my hair along my face to show where a chunk of hair was ripped from my head. As I stood there with my eyes closed I heard the sound of the cameras flash. I distinctly saw an image of Nicole Simpson's domestic abuse photos in my head. I think when I opened my eyes the officer saw what was going on inside my head. She put a hand on my shoulder and said, "It doesn't have to end that way."

How she knew what my brain was already doing I will chalk up to one domestic abuse too many for her. I appreciated her sensitivity.